As leaders, we’re constantly asked to make commitments. Integrity means being mindful about the things that you’re willing to commit to and honest about the things that you’re not. The thing about doing a great job is that people tend to notice. When that happens, you get thought of more and more often when there is a job to do. While it’s flattering to be thought of and also something to be proud of, the key to continue doing an admirable job is to not overfill your plate. Pride in what you do is important, but there are two different kinds of pride. The first is the kind of pride that makes you puff up because you’re being recognized and to be willing to say yes to impress. This kind of pride is very much instant gratification and often doesn’t end with that same great feeling. This is pride rooted in ego. The second kind of pride is pride in the quality of the work that you’ve done. There is delayed gratification here. This kind of pride often doesn’t come with the bells and whistles but is quieter and more fulfilling. This is pride rooted in integrity. Both of these types of pride are perfectly acceptable as long as you can recognize the difference between them. Knowing the difference and choosing them appropriately can take you from being an average leader to an extraordinary one.

Can you think about a time that you said yes to a task or project because of ego-driven pride? I have found that whenever I have said yes because of my ego I always end up feeling a little unsatisfied and usually pretty frazzled because I’m having to live up to the hype. We say yes to these things for other people and so that they will think the best of us. Even if it feels selfless, this is often about our ego.

So how do I know if I’m saying yes because of integrity-driven pride? The key difference is that you feel as though you’re doing it because you know that you can do a great job and you want to be satisfied by that feeling. It’s being driven by self-satisfaction rather than accolades. Time is also a factor. If you say no to something because you know that you don’t have time to do a good job or that your other work will suffer if you do, this is integrity-driven pride.

What if you said yes to too many things? That happens to everyone sometimes. Having the vulnerability to reach out to the people that you have committed to and let them know that your timeline has changed shows integrity. It’s very easy to put people off and ghost, but it takes leadership to admit that you bit off more than you could chew. Integrity is keeping the people that you have committed to informed and working out the next steps. Personal accountability equals amazing leadership.

The next time someone asks you to take on a task for them, take a pause and check in with your reasons for saying yes.

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